| Orthodox Outlet for Dogmatic Enquiries | On Salvation |
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Commemorated on 1 AprilSource: https://www.oca.org/v
Saint Zosimas (April 4) was a monk at a certain Palestinian
monastery on the outskirts of Caesarea. Having dwelt at the
monastery since his childhood, he lived there in asceticism until he
reached the age of fifty-three. Then he was disturbed by the thought
that he had attained perfection, and needed no one to instruct him.
“Is there a monk anywhere who can show me some form of asceticism
that I have not attained? Is there anyone who has surpassed me in
spiritual sobriety and deeds?”
Suddenly, an angel of the
Lord appeared to him and said, “Zosimas, you have struggled
valiantly, as far as this is in the power of man. However, there is
no one who is righteous (Rom 3:10). So that you may know how many
other ways lead to salvation, leave your native land, like Abraham
from the house of his father (Gen 12:1), and go to the monastery by
the Jordan.”
Abba Zosimas immediately
left the monastery, and following the angel, he went to the Jordan
monastery and settled in it.
Here he met Elders who were
adept in contemplation, and also in their struggles. Never did
anyone utter an idle word. Instead, they
chanted
constantly, and prayed all night long. Abba Zosimas began to imitate
the spiritual activity of the holy monks.
Thus much time passed, and
the holy 40-day
Lenten
Fast approached. There was a
certain custom at the monastery, which was why God had led Saint
Zosimas there. On the First Sunday of Great Lent the Hegumen
(Abbot) served the
Divine Liturgy, everyone received the All-Pure Body and Blood of
Christ. Afterwards, they went to the "trapeza"
(common dining room)
for a small repast, and then
assembled once more in church.
The monks prayed and made
prostrations, asking forgiveness from
one another. Then
they made a prostration before the Hegumen and asked his blessing
for the struggle that lay before them. During the Psalm “The Lord is
my Light and my Savior, whom shall I fear? The Lord is defender of
my life, of whom shall I be afraid?” (Ps 26/27:1), they opened the
monastery gate and went off into the wilderness.
Each took with him as much
food as he needed, and went into the desert. When their food ran
out, they ate roots and desert plants. The monks crossed the Jordan
and scattered in various directions, so that no one might see how
another fasted or how they spent their time.
The monks returned to the
monastery on Palm Sunday, each having his own conscience as a
witness of his ascetic struggles. It was a rule of the monastery
that no one asked how anyone else had toiled in the desert.
Abba Zosimas, according to
the custom of the monastery, went deep into the desert hoping to
find someone living there who could benefit him.
He walked into the
wilderness for twenty days and then, he
chanted
the Psalms of the Sixth Hour and
offered the usual
prayers. Suddenly, to the right of the hill where he stood, he saw a
human form. He was afraid, thinking that it might be a demonic
apparition. Then he guarded himself with the Sign of the Cross,
which removed his fear. He turned to the right and saw a form
walking southward. The body was black from the blazing sunlight, and
the faded short hair was white like a sheep’s fleece. Abba Zosimas
rejoiced, since he had not seen any living thing for many days.
The desert-dweller saw
Zosimas approaching, and attempted to flee from him. Abba Zosimas,
forgetting his age and fatigue, quickened his pace. When he was
close enough to be heard, he called out, “Why do you flee from me, a
sinful old man? Wait for me, for the love of God.”
The stranger said to him,
“Forgive me, Abba Zosimas, but I cannot turn and show my face to
you. I am a woman, and as you see, I am naked. If you would grant
the request of a sinful woman, throw me your cloak so I might cover
my body, and then I can ask for your blessing.”
Then Abba Zosimas was
terrified, realizing that she could not have called him by name
unless she possessed spiritual insight.
Covered by the cloak, the
ascetic turned to Zosimas: “Why do you want to speak with me, a
sinful woman? What did you wish to learn from me, you who have not
shrunk from such great labors?”
Abba Zosimas fell to the
ground and asked for her blessing. She also bowed down before him,
and for a long time they remained on the ground each asking the
other to bless. Finally, the woman ascetic said: “Abba Zosimas, you
must bless and pray, since you are honored with the grace of the
priesthood. For many years you have stood before the holy altar,
offering the Holy Gifts to the Lord.”
These words frightened Saint
Zosimas even more. With tears he said to her, “O Mother! It is clear
that you live with God and are dead to this world. You have called
me by name and recognized me as a priest, though you have never seen
me before. The Grace
granted you is apparent, therefore bless me, for the Lord’s sake.”
Yielding finally to his
entreaties, she said, “Blessed is God, Who cares for the salvation
of men.” Abba Zosimas replied, “Amen.” Then they rose to their feet.
The woman ascetic again said to the Elder, “Why have you come,
Father, to me who am a sinner, bereft of every virtue? Apparently,
the grace of the Holy Spirit has brought you to do me a service. But
tell me first, Abba, how do the Christians live, how is the Church
guided?”
Abba Zosimas answered her,
“By your holy prayers God has granted the Church and us all a
lasting peace. But fulfill my unworthy request, Mother, and pray for
the whole world and for me a sinner, that my wanderings in the
desert may not be useless.”
The holy ascetic replied,
“You, Abba Zosimas, as a priest, ought to pray for me and for all,
for you are called to do this. However, since we must be obedient, I
will do as you ask.”
The saint turned toward the
East, and raising her eyes to heaven and stretching out her hands,
she began to pray in a whisper. She prayed so softly that Abba
Zosimas could not hear her words. After a long time, the Elder
looked up and saw her hovering
in the air more than a foot above the ground. Seeing this, Zosimas
threw himself down on the ground, weeping and repeating, “Lord, have
mercy!”
Then he was tempted by a
thought. He wondered if she might not be a spirit, and if her prayer
could be insincere. At that moment she turned around, lifted him
from the ground and said, “Why do your thoughts confuse you, Abba
Zosimas? I am not an apparition. I am a sinful and unworthy woman,
though I am guarded by holy Baptism.”
Then she made the Sign of
the Cross and said, “May God protect us from the Evil One and his
schemes, for fierce is his struggle against us.” Seeing and hearing
this, the Elder fell at her feet with tears saying, “I beseech you
by Christ our God, do not conceal from me who you are and how you
came into this desert. Tell me everything, so that the wondrous
works of God may be revealed.”
She replied, “It distresses
me, Father, to speak to you about my shameless life. When you hear
my story, you might flee from me, as if from a poisonous snake. But
I shall tell you everything, Father, concealing nothing. However, I
exhort you, cease not to pray for me a sinner, that I may find mercy
on the Day of Judgment.
“I was born in Egypt and
when I was twelve years old, I left my parents and went to
Alexandria. There I lost my chastity and gave myself to unrestrained
and insatiable sensuality. For more than seventeen years I lived
like that and I did it all for free. Do not think that I refused the
money because I was rich. I lived in poverty and worked at spinning
flax. To me, life consisted of
satisfying
my fleshly lust.
“One summer I saw a crowd of
people from Libya and Egypt heading toward the sea. They were on
their way to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy
Cross. I also wanted to sail with them. Since I had no food or
money, I offered my body in payment for my passage. And so I
embarked on the ship.
“Now, Father, believe me, I
am very amazed, that the sea tolerated my wantonness and
fornication, that the earth did not open up its mouth and take me
down alive into hell, because I had ensnared so many souls. I think
that God was seeking my repentance. He did not desire the death of a
sinner, but awaited my conversion.
“So I arrived in Jerusalem
and spent all the days before the Feast living the same sort of
life, and maybe even worse.
“When the holy Feast of the
Exaltation of the Venerable Cross of the Lord arrived, I went about
as before, looking for young men. At daybreak I saw that everyone
was heading to the church, so I went along with the rest. When the
hour of the Holy Elevation drew nigh, I was trying to enter into the
church with all the people. With great effort I came almost to the
doors, and attempted to squeeze inside. Although I stepped up to the
threshold, it was as though some force held me back, preventing me
from entering. I was brushed aside by the crowd, and found myself
standing alone on the porch. I thought that perhaps this happened
because of my womanly weakness. I worked my way into the crowd, and
again I attempted to elbow people aside. However hard I tried, I
could not enter. Just as my feet touched the church threshold, I was
stopped. Others entered the church without difficulty, while I alone
was not allowed in. This happened three or four times. Finally my
strength was exhausted. I went off and stood in a corner of the
church portico.
“Then I realized that it was
my sins that prevented me from seeing the Life-Giving
Wood. The Grace
of the Lord then touched my heart. I wept and lamented, and I began
to beat my breast. Sighing from the depths of my heart, I saw above
me an icon of the Most Holy Theotokos. Turning to Her, I prayed: ‘O
Lady Virgin, who gave birth in the flesh to God the
Logos!
I know that I am unworthy to look upon
Your
icon. I rightly inspire hatred and disgust before
Your
purity, but I know also that God became Man in order to call sinners
to repentance. Help me, O All-Pure One. Let me enter the church.
Allow me to behold the Wood upon which the Lord was crucified in the
flesh, shedding His Blood for the redemption of sinners,
including
me. Be my witness before Your Son that I will never defile my body
again with the impurity of fornication. As soon as I have seen the
Cross of your Son, I will renounce the world, and go wherever
You
lead me.’
“After I had spoken, I felt
confidence in the compassion of the Mother of God, and left the spot
where I had been praying. I joined those entering the church, and no
one pushed me back or prevented me from entering. I went on in fear
and trembling, and entered the holy place.
“Thus I also saw the
Mysteries of God, and how God accepts the penitent. I fell to the
holy ground and kissed it. Then I hastened again to stand before the
icon of the Mother of God, where I had given my vow. Bending my
knees before the Virgin Theotokos, I prayed:
‘O Lady, you have not
rejected my prayer as unworthy. Glory be to God, Who accepts the
repentance of sinners. It is time for me to fulfill my vow, which
you witnessed. Therefore, O Lady, guide me on the path of
repentance.’
“Then I heard a voice from
on high: ‘If you cross the Jordan, you will find glorious rest.’
“I immediately believed that
this voice was meant for me, and I cried out to the Mother of God:
‘O Lady, do not forsake me!’
“Then I left the church
portico and started on my journey. A certain man gave me three coins
as I was leaving the church. With them I bought three loaves of
bread, and asked the bread merchant the way to the Jordan.
“It was nine o’clock when I
saw the Cross. At sunset I reached the church of Saint John the
Baptist on the banks of the Jordan. After praying inside
the church, I went down to the Jordan and washed my face and hands
in its water. Then in this same temple of Saint John the Forerunner
I received the Life-Giving
Mysteries of Christ. Then I ate half of one of my loaves of bread,
drank water from the holy Jordan, and slept there that night on the
ground. In the morning I found a small boat and crossed the river to
the opposite shore. Again I prayed that the Mother of God would lead
me where She wished. That is how
I found myself in this desert.”
Abba Zosimas asked her, “How
many years have passed since you began to live in the desert?”
“‘I think,” she replied, “it
is forty-seven years since I came from the Holy City.”
Abba Zosimas again asked,
“What food do you find here, Mother?”
And she said, “I had with me
two and a half loaves of bread when I crossed the Jordan. Soon they
dried out and hardened. Eating a
few crumbs from them
at a time, I finished them after a few years.”
Again Abba Zosimas asked,
“Is it possible you have survived for so many years without
sickness, and without suffering in any way from such a complete
change?”
“Believe me, Abba Zosimas,”
the woman said, “I spent seventeen years in this wilderness [after
she had spent seventeen years in immorality], fighting wild beasts:
mad desires and passions. When I began to eat bread, I thought of
the meat and fish which I had in abundance in Egypt. I also missed
the wine that I loved so much when I was in the world, while here I
did not even have water. I suffered from thirst and hunger. I also
had a mad desire for lewd songs. I seemed to hear them, disturbing
my heart and my hearing. Weeping and
beating
myself on the chest,
I kept
remembering
the vow I had made. At last I beheld a radiant Light shining on me
from everywhere. After a violent tempest, a lasting calm ensued.
“Abba, how shall I tell you
of the thoughts that urged me on to fornication? A fire seemed to
burn within me, awakening in me the desire for embraces. Then I
would throw myself to the ground and water it with my tears. I
seemed to see the Most Holy Virgin before me, and She seemed to
threaten me for not keeping my vow. I lay face downward day and
night upon the ground, and would not get up until that blessed Light
encircled me, dispelling the evil thoughts that troubled me.
“Thus I lived in this
wilderness for the first seventeen years. Darkness after darkness,
misery after misery stood about me, a sinner. But from that time
until now the Mother of God helps me in everything.”
Abba Zosimas again inquired,
“How is it that you require neither food, nor clothing?”
She answered, “After
finishing my bread, I lived on herbs and the things one finds in the
desert. The clothes I had when I crossed over the Jordan became torn
and fell apart. I suffered both from the summer heat, when the
blazing heat fell upon me, and from the winter cold, when I shivered
from the frost. Many times I fell down upon the earth, as though
dead. I struggled with various afflictions and temptations. But from
that time until the present day, the power of God has guarded my
sinful soul and humble body. I was fed and clothed by the
all-powerful word of God, since man does not live by bread alone,
but by every word proceeding from the mouth of God (Dt 8:3, Mt.4:4,
Luke 4:4), and those who have
discarded the old
self (Col 3:9) have
no refuge, hiding themselves in the clefts of the rocks (Job 24:8,
Heb 11:38). When I remember from what evil and from what sins the
Lord delivered me, I have imperishable food for salvation.”
When Abba Zosimas heard that
the holy ascetic quoted the Holy Scripture from memory, from the
Books of Moses and Job and from the Psalms of David, he then asked
the woman, “Mother, have you read the Psalms and other books?”
She smiled at hearing this
question, and answered, “Believe me, I have seen no human face but
yours from the time that I crossed over the Jordan. I never learned
from books. I have never heard anyone read or
chant
from them. Perhaps the Word of God, which is alive and active,
teaches man knowledge by itself (Col 3:16, 1 Thess 2:13). This is
the end of my story. As I asked when I began, I beg you for the sake
of the Incarnate Logos
of God, holy Abba, pray for me, a sinner.
“Furthermore, I beg you, for
the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, tell no one what you
have heard from me, until God takes me from this earth. Next year,
during Great Lent, do not cross the Jordan, as is the custom of your
monastery.”
Again Abba Zosimas was
amazed, that the practice of his monastery was known to the holy
woman ascetic, although he had not said anything to her about this.
“Remain at the monastery,”
the woman continued. “Even if you try to leave the monastery, you
will not be able to do so. On Great and Holy Thursday, the day of
the Lord’s Last Supper, place the Life-Giving
Body and Blood of Christ our God in a holy vessel, and bring it to
me. Await me on this side of the Jordan, at the edge of the desert,
so that I may receive the Holy Mysteries. And say to Abba John, the
Hegumen of your community, ‘Look to yourself and your brothers (1
Tim 4:16), for there is much that needs correction.’ Do not say this
to him now, but when the Lord shall indicate.”
Asking for his prayers, the
woman turned and vanished into the depths of the desert.
For a whole year Elder
Zosimas remained silent, not daring to reveal to anyone what he had
seen, and he prayed that the Lord would grant him to see the holy
ascetic once more.
When the first week of Great
Lent came again, Saint Zosimas was obliged to remain at the
monastery because of sickness. Then he remembered the woman’s
prophetic words that he would not be able to leave the monastery.
After several days went by, Saint Zosimas was healed of his
infirmity, but he remained at the monastery until Holy Week.
On Holy Thursday, Abba
Zosimas did what he had been ordered to do. He placed some of the
Body and Blood of Christ into a chalice, and some food in a small
basket. Then he left the monastery and went to the Jordan and waited
for the ascetic. The saint seemed tardy, and Abba Zosimas prayed
that God would permit him to see the holy woman.
Finally, he saw her standing
on the far side of the river. Rejoicing, Saint Zosimas got up and
glorified God. Then he wondered how she could cross the Jordan
without a boat. She made the Sign of the Cross over the water, then
she walked on the water and crossed the Jordan. Abba Zosimas saw her
in the moonlight, walking toward him. When the Elder wanted to make
prostration before her, she forbade him, crying out, “What are you
doing, Abba? You are a priest and
are carrying
the Holy Mysteries of God!”
Reaching the shore, she said
to Abba Zosimas, “Bless me, Father.” He answered her with trembling,
astonished at what he had seen. “Truly God did not lie when
He
promised that those who purify themselves will be like Him. Glory to
You, O Christ our God, for showing me through Your holy servant, how
far I am from perfection.”
The woman asked him to
recite both the Creed and the “Our Father.” When the prayers were
finished, she partook of the Holy Mysteries of Christ. Then she
raised her hands to the heavens and said, “Lord, now let Your
servant depart in peace, for my eyes have seen Your salvation.”
The saint turned to the
Elder and said, “Please, Abba, fulfill another request. Go now to
your monastery, and in a year’s time come to the place where we spoke
the first time .”
He said, “If only it were
possible for me to follow you and always see your holy face!”
She replied, “For the Lord’s
sake, pray for me and remember my wretchedness.”
Again she made the Sign of
the Cross over the Jordan, and walked over the water as before, and
disappeared into the desert. Zosimas returned to the monastery with
joy and terror, reproaching himself because he had not asked the
saint’s name. He hoped to do so the following year.
A year passed, and Abba
Zosimas went into the desert. He reached the place where he first
saw the holy woman ascetic. She lay dead, with arms folded on her
bosom, and her face was turned to the east. Abba Zosimas washed her
feet with his tears and kissed them, not daring to touch anything
else. For a long while he wept over her and
chanted
the customary Psalms, and recited
the funeral rites.
He began to wonder whether the saint would want him to bury her or
not. Hardly had he thought this, when he saw something written on
the ground near her head: “Abba Zosimas, bury on this spot the body
of humble Mary. Return to dust what is dust. Pray to the Lord for
me. I reposed on the first day of April, on the very night of the
saving Passion of Christ, after partaking of the Mystical Supper.”
Reading this note, Abba
Zosimas was glad to learn her name. He then realized that Saint
Mary, after receiving the Holy Mysteries from his hand, was
transported instantaneously to the place where she died, though it
had taken him twenty days to travel that distance.
Glorifying God, Abba Zosimas
said to himself, “It is time to do what she asks. But how can I dig
a grave, with nothing in my hands?” Then he saw a small piece of
wood left by some traveler. He picked it up and began to dig. The
ground was hard and dry, and he could not dig it. Looking up, Abba
Zosimas saw an enormous lion standing by the saint’s body and
licking her feet. Fear gripped the Elder, but he guarded himself
with the Sign of the Cross, believing that he would remain unharmed
through the prayers of the holy woman ascetic. Then the lion came
close to the Elder, showing its friendliness with every movement.
Abba Zosimas commanded the lion to dig
a
grave, in order to bury Saint Mary’s body. At his words, the lion
dug a hole deep enough for him
to bury
her
body. Then each went his own way. The lion went into the desert, and
Abba Zosimas returned to the monastery, blessing and praising Christ
our God.
Arriving at the monastery,
Abba Zosimas related to the monks and the Hegumen, what he had seen
and heard from Saint Mary. All were astonished, hearing about the
miracles of God. They always
commemorated Saint
Mary with faith and love on the day of her repose.
Abba John, the Hegumen of
the monastery, heeded the words of Saint Mary, and with the help of
God corrected the things that were wrong at the monastery. Abba
Zosimas lived a God-pleasing life at the monastery, reaching nearly
a hundred years of age. There he finished his temporal life, and
passed into life eternal.
The monks passed on the life
of Saint Mary of Egypt by word of mouth without writing it down.
“I however,” says Saint
Sophronius of Jerusalem (March 11), “wrote down the Life of Saint
Mary of Egypt as I heard it from the holy Fathers. I have recorded
everything, putting the truth above all else.”
“May God, Who works great
miracles and bestows gifts on all who turn to Him in faith, reward
those who hear or read this account, and those who copy it. May he
grant them a blessed portion together with Saint Mary of Egypt and
with all the saints who have pleased God by their pious thoughts and
works. Let us give glory to God, the Eternal King, that we may find
mercy on the Day of Judgment through our Lord Jesus Christ, to Whom
is due all glory, honor, majesty and worship together with the
Beginning-less Father, and the Most Holy and Life-Creating Spirit,
now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.”
Troparion & Kontakion
Article created : 1-4-2020 Updated on : 7-9-2023 |
