Only if we were to count the 'pieces of silver' accumulated from all our infidelities, will we realize that we have been rendering ourselves worse traitors than the historical one.  Let's be honest:  How much have we been "accepting" to keep crucifying Christ?

A single Thursday -  “Maundy Thursday” of Easter Week - is the landmark for every dark day of our own lives – on whose horizon, however, always awaits the resurrecting light of Salvation.  Every single blasphemy against the One and Only true God is reminiscent of that Maundy Thursday, whenever we crucify Truth, Justice,Love...  It was the day that Nature was bereft of its Lord, and when all of Creation had crouched in the sudden total darkness, bewildered by the crime that had been committed.

The Last Supper, the betrayal by Disciple Judas, the Passions and the Crucifixion of our Lord are the scenes of the Gospel that are revealed to the eyes of our hearts on that Thursday evening during the Service... Those moments are never taken lightly by the faithful, and the power of their meanings never fades, despite all the centuries that have passed over them.  It is because the forgiveness given from the Cross is that which keeps the world in motion... that which gives meaning to our life, that which brings heaven down to earth and raises earthly man to the Realm of Heaven.

The hymns of that Thursday are laden with words that strike down Judas and his dishonorable act like bolts of lightning.  Judas:  servant and treasonous, devil. betrayer of the Savior. scheming and unjust, overwhelmed by darkness, who excised himself from the Light... who, with his deceitful kiss remained coldly indifferent to the memory of all the good things he had enjoyed...

Nowhere In the entire collection of  ecclesiastic literature, is there another historical individual castigated as much and as vehemently as Judas the Iscariot.

But there is a spiritual trap here. Anyone who only “sees” the meanings of these important days superficially only sees  in Judas a convenient personal scapegoat. This is the exact mentality found in the pagan custom of burning a straw likeness of Judas in a public square – a custom which has specifically been condemned by an official circular of the Holy Synod of the Church. It appears that we seek to make scarecrows on which we can "destroy" our own iniquities. In order to preserve the spiritual weeds in our heart, we prefer set fire to the crimes of others and revel joyously around the blazing pyre.

This “condemnation” of Judas has unfortunately been perceived by some as enacted evidence of their “piety”!  Instead of comparing ourselves to a Saint, we secretly choose to compare ourselves to a traitor – in fact to the worst traitor in History. But even if we do happen to surpass this traitor in virtues, we are still far from being justified. Why is that?

A silver coin for each iniquity

Judas had accepted 30 pieces of silver to betray the Master, and yet, we “accept” countless pieces of silver during our brief passage on this earth: not in material form (although the avaricious do that too), but with our thoughts, actions, denials, omissions, delays and infidelities.

Judas was the keeper of the Apostles’ purse ae he was a lover of money;  perhaps we should likewise have a purse to hoard all our misdeeds because we too are disregarding accountability. Just imagine, if we were to acknowledge a piece of “treasonous silver” for every failure of ours to remain according to the image of God, what a mountain of such coins we would be accumulating!!

One “piece of silver” in our purse for each time we were presented with an opportunity to confess Christ and didn't do it - in a conversation, with company, at work, in any social situation.

One “piece of silver” in our purse for every day we forgot God and did not glorify Him in prayer; when time slipped away unexploited, without directing the mind to our Timeless and Immortal Savior; when we did not dedicate a single word to Him, or ever say a single 'Lord have mercy'... (whereas we were more than willingly disposed to gossip about all meaningless and harmful things).

One “piece of silver” in our purse for every day that contains no trace of repentance; for every confessor’s stole that finds us unjustifiably absent. For every tear that we shed for our egos’ sake, but not for the sake of a humble contrition.

One “piece of silver” in our purse for every blessing we received but didn't once say 'Glory to You, o God' and took the blessing as a given; for every gift of God which we regarded as our property and our right.

One “piece of silver” in our purse for every loaned talent that we didn't multiply; for every gift that we did not cultivate, or had dedicated it elsewhere and not to God.

A piece of silver for every promise we made to God but didn't keep. For every feeble excuse and every denial that ensued.... and not just 3 times like Peter's, but countless times.

One “piece of silver” in our purse for all our indifference, all our grumbling, all our despair that does not take into account God's help, nor trusts His most-wise plan.

One “piece of silver” in our purse for every criticism against our brother, every unjust judgment that is content with superficial appearances, every stoning of a fellow human being that we performed, through deeds, words and thoughts.

One “piece of silver” in our purse for every Sunday that was stolen by sleep, for every bell toll that faded before it reached our consciousness; for every day of the Lord that had invited us to his life-giving  Altar and we had shunned it.

One “piece of silver” in our purse for every poor soul that we did not pity, every sick person we did not comfort, every shunned person that we did not bother to think of, every enemy that we did not restore relations with, and every quarrel that we did not bring peace to.

One “piece of silver” in our purse for every secret we betrayed, every gossip, every annulment that we imposed on another human, every reputation that we hurt.

One “piece of silver” in our purse for every master in our life who is not God: for money, for the flesh, for glory, for authority and for power.

One “piece of silver” in our purse for every vanity that imprisons our five senses and holds them hostage... for every time we become slaves to material things, whether for moments, for years or for a lifetime.

One “piece of silver” in our purse for every indifference to study the word of God, to delve into the heavenly meanings of the Holy Bible and the Fathers, and yet, claim that we are Christians, albeit ignorant of the very words of Christ and the Apostles. 

A wonderful humn during Maundy Thursday says:

“Like a fountain gushing forth out of Eden, Your life-giving side irrigates Your Church as a logical paradise o Christ;  from whence it divides into four headwaters  - the four Gospels – thus irrigating the world, refreshing Creation, and teaching the nations to faithfully worship Your realm”.

The entire world is irrigated by the water of Life that springs from the four Gospels. And whoever does not study the Gospel remains unquenched  - and dried out, like the cursed fig tree that did not have a single fruit of virtue on it.

We could enumerate many more such pieces of silver...and they wouldn’t just fill a tiny pouch like Judas’s, but a whole “mint” thanks to our own infidelities. At least Judas was content with a smaller amount.  We gamble way much more to keep crucifying Christ.

There is only one thing that we have which makes us incomparably more fortunate than Judas. We still have time, to dedicate it for repentance and hope in God.  Judas' time ended, when he hanged himself from the tree. Ours continues, as long as God pleases. And we have also been given the priceless gift of confession to get rid of all the silver that we accumulated on our spiritual hump.

 

Translation by AN